2014
I'm sitting here inhaling the crazy delicious scent of the almond cake I have baking in the oven. I listened to a Dorothy Parker episode of Selected Shorts while pulling it all together. Earlier today I read two essays from Joan Didion's Slouching Towards Bethlehem, and Lena Dunham's excerpt from her new book in The New Yorker.
I've been reading and writing and listening and thinking all day. A little baking too. It is and isn't as luxurious as one might think. Too much time wandering around in one's own mind is dangerous, yet so often where I find myself.
Yesterday, like Monday and Tuesday, was incredibly different from today, but I did make a point of visiting Browser Books to see if they had Dunham's new book. I wanted to buy it. Everyone is talking about it. Everyone.
I decide to read a few pages before bringing it up to the register. I don't love it. I'm not even sure I like it. It makes me uncomfortable. Part of me still wants to buy it, the part of me that hopes I’ll absorb a tiny percentage of what makes everyone love her so much. I leave the bookstore with Joan Didion instead.
I wake up today haunted by Dunham. I listen to her chat with Terry Gross. As mentioned, I read the excerpt from her book in The New Yorker. It's long for online reading, but I don't even pause. She can write. I consider buying the audio version of her book. She reads it herself. Finally, I request her book from the library. I simply don’t want to miss out. I would be missing out if I didn’t read it, right?
What is my problem? I like her, but maybe I selfishly want her to be different. I don’t want her to do things she’ll regret. I want her to stay away from crappy people. I want her to like herself more. I want to protect her in some way.
Dorothy Parker and Joan Didion certainly make people uncomfortable. What's the difference? Well, Dorothy Parker died a long time ago, she's beyond protection, and there's something about Joan Didion that makes me think she'd give me a sharp little slap in the face if I said I wanted to protect her.
Dunham's life is really none of my business, but she’s made it my business, she’s made it everyone’s business. Is there anyone who hasn’t talked about Lena Dunham this week?
Strangely, my feelings for this person I do not even know are awkward and stressful, but I’m realizing they shouldn’t be. She’s found a way to charm people by sharing her foibles, mistakes, and humiliations in a way that makes her feel better about them and leaves us all wanting to give her a big fat hug. Maybe I will buy the audio book and cancel my library request. Maybe I'll listen and read. I don't know. Maybe I’m the one who needs protecting.
Joan Didion is one of my touchstones. Her essays and non-fiction have always spoken to me in a personal and meaningful way. I'm not very familiar with Dorothy Parker (though I do love the Algonquin). As for Lena Dunham, I've never watched Girls, but of course I know about her.I admire the heck out of her and am probably a little jealous too. I had no interest in the book until I read the piece in the New Yorker. It was awesome. So I probably will read her book at some point. The audio idea is intriguing.
ReplyDeleteThe hotel? I haven't been. Perhaps next time I am in New York. I also saw the film Tracks last week. So much to ponder.
DeleteYes, the hotel. I know nothing about Tracks. Should I?
DeleteYes. Go see it.
DeleteWho is Lena Dunham? Maybe I will slouch off toward the library to find out. Google would be too easy.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you know by now.
DeleteI love your ambivalence (and your honesty about it). I read that excerpt from the New Yorker also. I do want to read Lena's book (and Roxane Gay's Bad Feminist as well, which everyone is also talking about). I guess I really just like her vulnerability and "take me as I am" sensibility above all else (plus she's so full of wit). But I know what you mean about that fear of missing out because everyone is talking about a particular movie/show/book. For me, it seems to be The Goldfinch. Doubt I will ever read it...but still sweating it a bit that I might be missing out! Though I guess it's different (maybe) fiction vs. nonfiction/memoir? Feels a bit different. But you're right about one thing: that Didion slap! (I liked about 50% of Slouching...but I think I need to give it a reread in the future).
ReplyDeleteI have not read The Goldfinch either. Maybe a little missing out is okay.
DeleteWell I read the Goldfinch and was happy when i finished slogging through it.
DeleteBig hype books kinda turn me off like big hype movies.
So I anxiously await your review.
Will she or won't she...
xo J
Oh, I hate slogging... And I agree about hype, it can be annoying. I read a blog post http://hellotypewriter.blogspot.com/2014/10/too-many-books.html today that reminded me to chill out on getting through all of the books I want to read. So, I probably will (read Dunham's book), but I have no idea when. I'm in no hurry.
DeleteThere is something that I find slightly unappealing about Lena Dunham. I won't read her book. But I do respect what she's done at such a young age.
ReplyDeleteI love Joan Didion. I want to be her when I grow up. <3
I saw Joan Didion speak a few years ago and she's still a tough cookie. Great goal!
Delete"Too much time wandering around in one's own mind is dangerous, yet so often where I find myself." - Ha! That's why we bake cake, you and I :)
ReplyDeleteOff to google Dunham.
Yes, the kitchen often saves me from myself.
DeleteI have trouble with Lena Dunham too. Respect yes but in a gawking, uncomfortable way. Didion on the other hand, a class act.
ReplyDeleteI'm moving into the second section of Slouching Towards Bethlehem and will be rereading at least a couple of essays I know and love. She is a class act.
DeleteI remember clearly the time in my life when I first read "Slouching Toward Bethlehem"..I fell in love with Didion's writing and her life. All the wonderfulness, the sadness and the writing, writing, writing. I have read all of her books, and many more than once. I had to read them. They stand up. Will Lena Dunham's book be this kind of surviving book, a book to return to over and over as if reading for the first time? After picking it up and reading a bit, I think not. It is not that she is not funny and full of irony and she definitely has lots to say in a "my diary" way. I do not disllike reading her and did ready the excerpt in the New Yorker, but I am not feeling as if I have to read more. No, not at all.
ReplyDeleteI understand your love for Joan Didion's writing. She is a treasure. Few will rise to her level of talent.
DeleteWell, I like that you want to protect her. Being in the public eye she could probably do with some protecting. Everything you do viewed through a microscope. I don't know much about her book or really about her. Perhaps here in the UK she doesn't feature on our media landscape or perhaps I have been ignoring the media landscape. From the little that I know she seems to be brave and plucky. But what you seem to be and what you are often differ greatly. How was the almond cake?
ReplyDeleteI often ignore much of the media landscape and believe it is a pretty good idea. Carry on. The almond cake was superb.
DeletePardon for commenting twice, but I wanted to add: it is thanks to you, Denise, that I have borrowed "Running in the Family" from the library and bought a used copy of "In the Skin of a Lion" by Michael Ondaatje. I am curious about Dunham, but you and your commenters have really piqued my interest in Joan Didion. Oh, brave new world...
ReplyDeleteStrangely, I don't remember much detail from In the Skin of a Lion, but I remember many details from Running in the Family. I hope you enjoy both Ondaatje books, and whatever you choose to read by Joan Didion.
DeleteHI Denise, for my bookclub next year, we plan to read a "writing family" segment--Didion, husband John Gregory Dunne and brother-in-law Dominick Dunne. I know and admire Didion's writing, but know nothing about the two brothers. Should be an interesting grouping. Re: Lena Dunham I have ambivalent feelings. I admire what she's accomplished so young, but her writing does not intrigue me.
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting idea, Nancy. We've all been influenced by family, in one way or another. Reading the different perspectives should yield some good discussions.
DeleteIt's strange I had the opposite reaction, when reading the excerpt in the end I thought: "oh for goodness sake get a grip and stop being paranoid". And that's exactly the reason why I'm not interested in that sort of books. People love it because generally it's reassuring reading about other people phobias, fears and oddities, it makes you feel "normal". Time is too precious to be wasted in stuff we don't really like. Just because EVERYBODY is reading it, it doesn't mean that they are doing it because they love it but simply because everybody is doing it. Think of the padded shouklder during the 80's! ;)
ReplyDeleteIt takes courage to be the odd one, I rather be the odd one and listen to my guts. this too shall pass, until the next wowsie book everybody talks about, a bit like pop music. xx
*shoulders
ReplyDeleteI cannot say I share the feelings Dunham had in the article, but if the article made some people feel better about their issues, well, that's fine with me. I do agree with you about time being precious and not wasting it on things we do not like. Good point. I am often the odd one and I do not mind this at all, but my gut does not always know what it wants, not immediately. Sometimes I wish it were more decisive, but it is what it is. I'll listen to my gut when it decides what's up with this book. Sometimes I like pop. I must admit that I did enjoy the padded shoulders trend in the 80s. And then I liked Hanson's pop song, MMMBop, in the nineties. The two younger band members reminded me of my sweet little brothers and the song made me smile and feel like dancing.
Deleteyour answer made me smile :)
ReplyDeleteso tell me, if you liked the padded shoulders then why you are not wearing them now? :^)
ReplyDeleteOh, Alessandra... If I continued to wear all of the crazy fashions that once appealed to me I'd be a mess (think Madonna's Borderline video). I wanted to be Madonna when that video came out and did my best to obtain her look (my father was not impressed). And yes, I loved shoulder pads for a brief period of time, but no more.
DeleteI have a question for you, Alessandra. How did you know I wasnt sitting right here on my sofa, this moment, wearing a blouse stuffed with shoulder pads? ;)
ReplyDelete:D oh I wish we could have a chat and a coffee together! xx
ReplyDeleteI think we'd have a good time, lots of laughs.
Deleteand i did too dress a bit like borderline madonna for a little while, it was cool!
ReplyDeleteI certainly thought it was cool!
Delete