Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Unfinished

Unfinished, 2009

Truth be told, I've been feeling a little sorry for myself this morning.

It seems so much is unfinished and I'm craving completion. I have so many projects that are in-the-works.

For instance, I finished the scarf above yesterday evening. Well, I thought I'd finished it. It's not finished. You see, I have this trait. I like doing things my own way and that often includes not following instructions and reinventing the wheel. This rebelliousness takes time, but it makes me happy, or so I thought.

It all began quite some time ago, it's been so long I'm not really sure how long, exactly. Chris really wanted a striped scarf and I decided I'd attempt it without seeking any true knitting advice. I could figure this out on my own. Right? Sort of.

First, I knit three stripes (very thin yarn, very slim needles) the same length, but they weren't. Maybe it was the shift in yarn, some cotton and some a blend. So I unraveled, bound off again, and blocked. All set, but not. I looked up some means of attaching knit pieces and didn't really feel a bond with any of them, so I created my own method. I stitched my stripes together and somewhere along the line they became uneven again.

Anyway...the story goes on like this for a while. I saw it as a learning experience. I felt myself expanding (in a good way).

Yesterday, just before midnight, I proudly completed (but not) the scarf. Chris tried it on this morning and it's not right. It's too short. I might add a large block of a solid color to the end (pale green? orange?), sort of Mondrianesque.

It just might end up being really cool (please), but I thought it was complete...sigh.

I was sad and it wasn't just the scarf. You see, there is construction in front of AND beside my apartment and it is extraordinarily loud, seriously, it's so loud. My local library is closed for renovation. Chris is working so many hours. ...and I'm really sick of having cigarette smoke blown in my face on the street!

So, needless to say, I was really going down, down in a depressed poet sort of way. Then I saw some nice light filtering in through my bay window (I love good light) and I found this gentleman's sweet blog and his link to this dancing that looks like so much fun.

I smiled.

As I watched the video clip I started dancing a little bit, with myself, on my couch, in the sun.

Then I finished this post.

Life isn't so bad.

7 comments:

  1. add a soft bluish purple to the ends... just beautiful...

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  2. i think as artists we all tend to be very hard on ourselves. I think a solid color will be great.

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  3. The light you captures is indeed beautiful... and your scarf is, too. A solid color will make it a little longer and then it will be done...and some other project will be picked up, either brand new, or one that had been left unfinished for a later time. And so it goes.

    I've been feeling exhausted and restless. Perhaps exhausted because of my restlessness. At any rate. It was nice to read that everybody has little inner struggles. And that we somehow pick ourselves up and carry on.

    love,
    -maria

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  4. i understand this pain. oh, the artist is us all. : )
    i do think you create beautiful scarves ect.
    xo

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  5. Claudia, Nice suggestion. Thank you.

    Char, You are so right-on. It makes me think of the beginning of one of Mary Oliver's poems:
    You do not have to be good.
    You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
    You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.

    Maria, "And so it goes" is correct. Sometimes I get worked up about the silliest of things, and you know what? It's simply not worth it. I'm adding to the scarf with a solid color and it's looking quite nice. Problem solved. So yes, we do pick ourselves up and carry on. I have...you will. It's all good : )

    Christina, Yes, and sometimes that artist is a little bit of a pain. Such is life. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.

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  6. HA, I have definitely had the same feelings about not being able to finish things, but finishing a post is usually just the accomplishment I need.

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  7. Shannalee, I agree. I adore the inherent completion factor in blog posting.

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