Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Process

Lines, 2013

I've never seen things in a linear fashion.  I have to pull back, circle the task at hand as if it is prey, and then pounce on it sort of haphazardly. 

There is repetition of what resembles a cycle, but it varies enough to avoid the classification.  Irregularity makes analysis difficult.  The process leaves me, its host, pricked with anxiety and the feeling someone else is pulling the strings.  

Logical steps or equal sections are not visible to me before I take a nice long look at the whole.  I'll zoom in quickly for a detail, losing focus on the way, pull back through the blur, and reach the whole again.  Necessary patches of blank quiet space are randomly pressed into the process.  Mealtimes and bedtimes are sometimes forgotten.  There can be waking in the fog of night with a plan.  Some groggy mornings, some good.

I'll turn it inside out, then back to right.  I'll hang it outside to absorb the sun and allow the breeze to move through it.  Give it a curt shake, as with a giant bed sheet, just to rid it of any dust that might have settled.  Look at it with a tilted head, a squint.  Then it is done.

And I cannot know if it is what others will desire, only that it is done, and is somehow a portrait of who I am at this moment in my life.

20 comments:

  1. Sounds like the process of creating art, or maybe the process of a creative life? Some of it hit me as familiar, or maybe I'm projecting... get a good night sleep, and don't forget to eat ;^)

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    1. Yes, Janis. My creative process. I haven't skipped a meal today. The day started with oatmeal & blueberries. All is well.

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  2. I just finished watching the Planet Earth cave episode. Sounds to me like you do a bit of spelunking.

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  3. It sounds like the workings of a very creative mind to me.

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  4. Great description of your approach, and the way you find your productivity.

    I love linear thinking and am linear in my approach to work and creative endeavours, my son on the other hand has no capacity for it at all. (Husband I think falls somewhere in the middle.) Ironically, the two guys see life as black and white while I see all the shades of grey.

    It is a challenge for me to help my son with work, as he needs to get much more frustrated with the big picture than I think is necessary, as he doesn't break a task down into logical steps. He simply doesn't see them. It's been a fascinating journey to watch such a bright mind approach things from such a different direction.

    This is a constant topic in our house!

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    1. There is certainly more than one path. Something we all need to remember. I bet this fuels some great conversations in your house.

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  5. Beautifully written, Denise. You have a neat way to compass and chart and find your path. On my end, i have to step back...way back...and look at the road from a distance. I am not one for details, which can be good or bad, depending on the scenario. And sometimes i end up zooming so far back and high away that i lose the path on the map...

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    1. I'm so surprised, Amelia. To me, your recipes and photographs, even your comments, seem detailed. I like your 'way'.

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  6. I imagined the process of a painting or a quilt with your words. So lovely.

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    1. I can see a quilt. I like that. Maybe I'll make a quilt one day.

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  7. I agree with Amelia, beautifully written. Your words flow, in and then out. I can actually feel what you write through your words... Beautiful.

    And I recognize the process. Especially when I am involved in something that needs deep concentration.

    Have a nice weekend!

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    1. Yes, Anne Marie. Me too. The creative pursuits involving deep concentration are where this sort of process takes place.

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  8. What amazes me is that your style always mirrors your 'subject matter'. You don't just create an image through words, but also IN words, like a word-painting. I wonder if that's something which happens consciously or subconsciously. It's a question I've always been fascinated by ever since I did research on Woolf's The Waves, who was a master at it as well.

    x E.

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    1. I like your view, E. It happens subconsciously for me.

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  9. This is lovely, Denise. You have captured that nebulous sense that I so often feel, but can't articulate. Waking in the fog of night. Not knowing if what I have to say or create is needed or wanted, but simply that I have to do it. Thank you for sharing this. XOXO

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